Lately I have not been okay. I have been sick physically, emotionally and otherwise.
My tenofovir tablet and drugs have finished for sometime now, but no money to buy more because I have not been working for some time now due to my health. I have been planning to go for ultrasound, labs and treatments but I can’t because they are very expensive here and no money for that. I have been feeling my belly rising, feeling short breaths, dizziness,Frequent urinations,fatigue. I pray it’s not ascites, cirrhosis or fibrosis.
Why is the treatment for hepatitis b very expensive?
Is there no organization or agency that provide free or subsidized hepatitis b treatments like in AIDS?
I have been thinking of death lately.
I am 30 living with hepatitis b and chronic duodenal ulcer. I always think to myself, why me?, why getting what I didn’t ‘pay for’. As a person who became a Christian very young, as a teen, I have been keeping my virginity, even up to now. But how come this infection? I always ask.
It hurts to know that I got the hepatitis b infection through blood transfusion as a new born. I didn’t discover it on time till a few years ago.
I now ask myself, does it mean I was destined to die young. I am just tired tonight.
If I remember how my mother feels and would feel if I’m no more, it leads me to tears and pity. Guess I’m afraid because of what I’m feeling.
I really want to live long like everyone else. I have a lot ahead of me.
I don’t really know what is wrong with me. I’m a male nurse, not working now, yet I can’t help myself.
This is the only place I really express myself freely.
Now I know how depression feels. Indeed.