Everytime I am due for routine labs I get very anxious to the point where I even put off getting the labs for a few more weeks because I’m scared to know what the results hold. I came to this forum 2-3 months ago because my viral load was highly elevated from its usual (25,000iu/mL up from 500iu/mL) and now I am due for testing again next week. I’m terrified I will see the viral load multiply to the millions or receive other bad news like super elevated ALT AST and find out my liver is damaged. I have an appt with my specialist at the end of December to discuss treatment options. Or next steps. Anyway, I’m just looking for some help or advice on managing the crippling anxiety cycle of this disease.
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Hi @kostas,
I hear you. Sorry this has been causing you more issues. Your reactions are normal, many patients go through this problem as well so you are not alone. I get anxious but it is not crippling or lasts longer. Maybe it is because I do have a lot going on in my life that I don’t have time to think about the results and what it could be. Is there anything positive you can focus on during these times? If it is very bad and affects you immensely, I will advise that you talk to someone or your doctor about it. It can be hard and maybe speaking to your doctor to devise a plan about this could help. Just know that you are not alone and bad results usually don’t happen in weeks or months but rather take many years. We are all strongly behind you. Take deep breathes, take walks if possible, listen to music, or get yourself occupied more during those periods and see if it helps. Hang in there. Bansah1
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I know this feeling only too well. Are you taking medication for your hepatitis B?
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I am not yet, I might begin next month pending the results of my blood test labs that I will do next week. But I am anxious to start treatment too
Thanks for the thoughts Bansah. Staying busy does help, unfortunately I’m not very busy right now, I should try to busy myself. It’s also always great to just talk to other people on here who get it since no one in my personal life has hep b so they don’t really get it and most don’t even know it’s something I deal with. Thanks for the community!
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I can imagine if you were taking medication you would feel less anxious. This issue of anxiety and worry among hepatitis B carriers is very important and one that doctors should pay more attention to. It’s not really good enough for doctors to give people this diagnosis and then leave us alone with all the anxiety. There needs to be more emotional support.
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Hi @kostas I’m sorry to hear! you are not alone. I know very well how you feel! some days are good and some are really bad.
it happens to me every time I get close to the " six months",
actually it’s getting worst. I fear that because more time goes by with the disease, the more damage one can expect.
although that’s not always the case. Especially if one takes good care, taking medications (if needed,) good diet not alcohol and not smoking etc.
and yet it feels like a Russian roulette doesn’t it?
( It’s always in the back of my mind what the doctor said when I started medication " it slows the progression"). to me it translates it doesn’t really stops it.
I sweat, and try to read in the technician’s eyes and mind while I’m having the ultrasound…
Unfortunately, nobody can really tell what’s going to happen to you. and that is the worst feeling ever!
Vulnerable, constantly scared for your future , Isolating, upsetting, hopelessness, and finally anger with not one really but yourself.
its easy when doctors says take your medication and be serene and live your life… yes, so easy to say.
Furthermore,on top of that there is always a little voice in the back of your mind "maybe this time… it will be HBVDNA not detected… with HBVsag negative… just to be shattered by the results.
I know it’s not much but remember we are here of you.
One realize what happiness really is only when something like this happens to you…
this forum has been very helpful to me over the past 16 months…
the famous functional cure, the cure that doctors keeps saying its near but then it’s s not… years away …so frustrating…
I have being going to a Psychologist and I must say it has been very, very helpful in processing all the above.
again you are not alone
best Gregory
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Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts, Gregory. Just by telling your story, I am sure that you have helped many many people who read these words and are a bit more reassured that they are not alone.
Thomas
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Thanks @Gregory for your thoughts and reassurance! It is really helpful just to know I’m not alone. I mustered up the courage to do my labs today, hopefully the results will be ok. I also got anxiety medication a few months ago which has helped me a lot, but I want to find a therapist too as you mentioned. Hope you are well!
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Hi Kostas I’m happy that somewhat I could give you some reassurance!
you’ll see a Therapist will help you immensely.
Also, I find Yoga ( breathing lessons) very, very helpful, I do it online, very easy to find even on YouTube for free.
best and good luck
Gregory
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I totally understand. I’ve had meltdowns on this forum. 
thinking it’s not even worth it.
My dear Hep have encouraged and calmed me down.
Over 40 years I’ve had HBV. 64 years atm.
Only started taking an interest in the disease about the last twenty. Still get anxious but it’s getting less. Because of my mindset, I think.
I try and look at the positives, like if these tests and medication weren’t available, I probably would be dead.
And look at me-64 years old! That’s pretty good I reckon.
Talking about doctors, my GP reckons my liver is as good as his! Yeah right. I know he’s only trying to relieve me of anxiety but that doesn’t help.
I’ve come to realise they can’t fix everything and if there’s no result or change in results, they can’t do anything.
All the best everyone.
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Great job, @kostas! Just showing up can be the hardest thing, but you did it! Woohoo!
I hope all goes well, please keep us up to date on your journey.
Thomas
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Hang in there, Kostas! I know exactly what you have been going through as someone with a 40-year (known) history of chronic HBV. Last time I had my ultrasound checkup it was after 2 years of skipping semiannual screens and my anxiety was through the roof (all was OK)! But listen, we are now possibly 8-10 semmiannual screens away from the cure! I know, only a “functional cure” but still there should be hopefully be less anxiety involved once we clear the virus. There is a good reason to have hope!
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Hope there will be a functional cure 
Thanks for sharing Ace, it’s nice also to hear from people who have a long history with the virus and are still ok!
My results are not bad, my ALT and AST are normal, as well as my ultrasound. My viral load decreased from 20,500iu/ML to about 1200 iu/ML. I’m not sure why this happened, but I’m relieved. I have an appointment with my doctor next week and we will discuss the possibility of medication or when/if to begin in the future. I hope this will make me feel more prepared for future tests, since previously we’ve never discussed treatment via meds so I don’t have much knowledge yet.
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Dear @kostas,
Thanks for the update and glad to hear that you are feeling good about your results. Definitely worth at least having the conversation about treatment and maybe writing down your concerns beforehand so you have a list of questions to ask during the consult. There are several discussions about starting treatment on this forum (e.g., Deciding when to start treatment) that might be helpful.
Cheers,
Thomas
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