Wish I didn't know I was hepb positive before marriage

Hi,

I did not know I had hepb untill I was 33 years old, I got it from my mom, who also did not know, she was a virgin before marrying my dad, how could she know right ? now 44 years old, I am still single, if I ever meet some woman who is interested in me and I am in her, I must tell her my status if the relationship get serious, if I don’t I would be a great jerk and would be the same as commiting murdering a woman, I wish I did not know my status before being married, it would have better that I discovered my status after marriage, then she is already bound to me and I did not lie to her because I also did not know my status. I don’t think any woman will want me, who wants a hepb positive man right ? Even I wouldn’t want a hepb woman if I wasn’t positive, that was my preference before discovering I was positive. Propably I will be single my whole life and die old and alone, this is so depressing. F* this F* virus for destroying my life.

Br
JP

Hello. I am so sorry that you feel so frustrated. I know it can be difficult to disclose to someone you just met maybe. But everything takes its time. A lot of people are aware that if he/her is fully vaccinated against Hep B the probability of being infected is practically Zero. I dont know your status of HepB infection. But if you are in control with a specialised hepatologist and do your check ups periodically you have to know that HepB infected can live a long and healthy life. We never know what tomorrow brings for everyone. At least with knowing u are Hep B positive you can do something to ensure a healthy lifestyle and healthy liver.
Hope u find that someone special for u :slight_smile:

Same feeling here. Hoping for a cure in the near future so we can end our worries.

Don’t ever think a woman defines your happiness. Don’t want to offend you but we call that a simp, beta, incel, etc. How do you know, if married with ready to have kids, or had kids that she wouldn’t leave you. Break up the family and take you for child support.

You need to get red pilled, MGTOW, and become the man you need to be. You don’t need a woman to make you happy. I had a friend who passed away and he was married but pretty much died without his wife. When he was sick, he was like a burden in her view and she got remarried a year later.

I rather die with friends and my blood relatives or die alone than know that I have a wife at home and die alone.

You are looking at it the wrong way. If you feel alone, then it’s the company you have when being alone. Work on your masculine frame, work on making money, dedicate your life to yourself. When you die, it doesn’t matter whose there, you ll die alone. Most people unless it’s a tragic accident, die alone.

Change your mind set bruh, it’s 2022!

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Hi hepb1
I understand what is going through your mind. Take it easy and many issues coming and going will bring what you did not even expect.
I have read what others before me have told you. My different view is that “when one under no coersion of any kind decides to live single, it’s ok”.But it’s stressing to be forced to celibacy and chastity by any condition, more so- desease.
All that said,my reading your mail i get an impression that it’s your desire to get married and bring up a happy family. Hep b stands your way. I am convinced you can get somebody to love you despite your condition. But I would advise you to walk the journey with a professional counselor to make things clear and your life easier.
When I married, I was already hep b positive and my suitor knew. I proceeded to marry her. So, don’t throw in the towel before trying. The trick probably would be when and how to disclose your status.
All the best.
Regards
Kinoti

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@NeptuneJ , my situation is kinda unique, I dont have any blood relatives, my parents will not be forever with me, they get old, they kinda help fill the void, especially my mom.

Guess I will have to adjust my standards regarding suitable partner, with this disease my market value has droppped significantly.

@NeptuneJ ,I know what u mean, I follow mr Rollo ,:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

Dear @hepb1,

Thanks for sharing your frustrations with the community and I know you aren’t the only one feeling this way. I can only offer my experiences: I had dated a few women before I met my now-wife. I had told many of them that I have Hep B (I told my wife within hours of meeting her - see the story here: https://www.mdpi.com/1999-4915/12/5/515).

After telling them, all I was met with was concern for my health and/or curiosity about what it actually meant. So I ended up using it as an opportunity to educate people on what hep B was and how you could be protected against it. Most had already been vaccinated during high school (as part of a catch-up vaccination program), so that was generally not a problem. So, while I did worry about it at first, it really was all in my mind and reality was really quite supportive.

I think if a relationship is getting serious, then there should already be some good communication between you and your partner. So those are really things to work on and emphasize while you’re developing a relationship.

And you’re right, the relationship could end because of this. But really, it could end for any other number of reasons. But that’s life, and the way forward is just trying again. I don’t think it’s different for anyone else.

I think I became happiest about dating when I began meeting people for the express purpose of connecting with them, and not expecting anything (e.g. a romantic relationship, marriage, whatever) out of it. Basically just seeing where things went. Some people I never talked to again, others became good friends. I think people are worth knowing in and of themselves, and not just as a means to a relationship. This is part of the reason I set this forum up as well.

Anyway, I hope you might be able to find or take away something useful from my experiences.

Cheers,
Thomas

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Hi @hepb1 - all natural emotions and important to acknowledge as part of your diagnosis story.
We all have our own flaws not just medical, character, bad habits etc. Once you accept your medical status and love your own flaws you open yourself to find someone special.
Don’t waste time blaming yourself. Let your diagnosis be for good whether its understanding other people with a different medical condition or to understand you can be accepted here in this community.

You can read my intro post by searching my name that I posted last year. There’s more of us that have suffered in the same way with our thoughts. And the good news is these current thoughts can change :slight_smile:

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Dude, don’t think like that. Stress can only harm your health. Have you been going out on dates? Are you currently in a relationship or seeing people?

Unless you are or have been rejected because of your hepatitis, then you are just stressed over nothing.

I am married with 3 kids and tye same age as you. I get the stress. If my marriage ended, I be worried about how people would react to my hepatitis b. But then at my age, I wouldn’t get married. Lol. I would just partner up.

If you need someone to “red pill” with, hit me up on PM. Other than that don’t stress, and go out there and start playing the field. Have fun, get rejected, you ll never know unless you go out and try.

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Hi Hepb1,
I understand you are frustrated and worried about marriage as someone with hepatitis B. It is alright to feel that way, but you should never say never. As long as you are alive there is hope. I understand talking to a mate about your status could be a deal breaker or maker. You will be rejected and expect some nastiness as well. But do not give up. I believe there is always someone out there each of us who will understand and love us for who we are. Step out of your comfort zone and give it a shot. I don’t know how long its been since you found out you were positive. But everyone goes through a period of anger, frustration, and having millions of questions after their diagnosis. But at some point we make peace with our diagnosis. I hope you can get to that place, where you do not find your diagnosis as a death sentence but rather as a curved ball or challenge that life threw at you. A few years ago I had a friend who was very hard on himself and thought he will never find someone who will love and marry him because he was HIV/AIDS positive, but guess what that was not true. I encouraged him all the time to stay positive and to never say never. He found someone and they are happily married. If it can happen to him, believe me it can happen to you and others too. Be strong and stay positive. Take it one day at a time. Put yourself out there and take chances, you never know what awaits you. We are all here for you.

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Dr @ThomasTu Thomas, That’s a lovely story. I read the article you shared. So your wife must be fully vaccinated. It’s been 4 years, may I ask if you have a children yet … it’s okay if you don’t answer.

Yes, we checked that my wife was protected with an antibody test. We do not currently have children, but we do have a big dog :slight_smile:.

Cheers,
Thomas

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