How to move forward

My story might be similar to most. For 30 years I did not know I had a chronic disease, I found out when I got pregnant. Unfortunately when I told my child’s father he wasn’t supportive, he completely shut me off. He changed his number and when I would see him he won’t speak or even look my way. What hurts most is that he does not claim his child to our community. I hurt for my child. I’ve become insecure and helpless. Who can I talk to? Everyone is judgement. I’ve become depressed but I have no one to talk to. Why and how did I even get this disease? I ask myself this on daily. My poor child deserves better than this, I try to stay positive for him. How can my life ever go back to normal?

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Awe Mercy I am so sorry for what you are going through! That must be so hard being denied and rejected by your spouse because of your condition, I feel you and I hope you’ll find a great support where you live! Do you live in the US? I came from the Philippines in 2008 and found out that I have a chronic hep b virus when I was pregnant as well, it was hard in my marriage at first but he became very supportive and loving after a while… It’s not your fault to have it and your child definitely don’t deserve to be denied and rejected by her/his father. Could you find some support from a local church or friends? I am super thankful that no one treated or discriminated me for the disease that I have, and in fact I am well loved and supported by my local friends, coworkers and family which I am so grateful for! Don’t be afraid to tell people what you have, real friends will love you for who you are and not because of what you have! Depression hurts I know, I’ve been there many times before but working out, good balance diet and support from friends and family definitely helped me to overcome my struggles! I’ve denied treatment from 2008 till 2020 when I found out how high my viral load was because I was afraid what people might say if they find out and I was worried about the side effects but after weighing it out for a while I realized that treatment and telling what I have to the people around me was a way to go! Yes some people might judge me but I learned to have a thick skin now so it doesn’t really matter anymore! Please let me know if you would like to connect with me personally…

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Thank you for your quick response but I can’t imagine telling anyone else. The one person who I thought would be supportive rejected me so I can’t imagine what anyone else would say. He was actually just a boyfriend not a husband but I didn’t expect that from him. I thought we could at least be friends but he couldn’t even do that. Yes I live in Texas and I don’t really have friends or family out here, I’m originally from Ethiopia so I usually just focus on work and my child. I’m also a bit socially awkward and didn’t invest in connecting with a church yet.

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Hello again Mercy,
It is good that you focus your attention to your job and your child, that’s a good thing but you might want to consider reaching out to others as well and by you writing a post or question to hep b foundation support group is a first step forward to finding some ideas, moral support and questions of what you might want to consider doing for treatment or anything in regards to your hep b condition! Who knows, there might be another hep b carrier close to where you live and get an in person support from that group!
Have you find out what your current viral load is? Mine was at 98 million last year and that’s when I finally took treatment. I was worried at first thinking that I was going to die in 5 years or sooner leaving my 9 years old daughter and a husband of 15 years but now 6 months later, my viral load went down to almost undetectable (90 at 2 months ago ) and I will have more test to be done next week. I’m sure your doctor will be able to tell your options for treatment and what to expect. As of now, I’m not worried about it anymore like I was last year before my treatment, I am hopeful to have long life to enjoy with my family.
Bless you

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I figured it would be better to get support through this group. My Doctor sent me to a specialist and he sent me to a lab to get my viral but I’ve never heard back from that clinic, honestly, I’m a bit embarrassed to even call and figure out what happened. I don’t even feel comfortable to talk to my Doctors about my condition. He sent me to the lab about two years ago by the way. This is the only thing I have which my doctor sent me while I was pregnant.

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Wow, that’s awesome. I’m glad you get to enjoy this precious life with your family. What treatment are you on?

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Hello mercy, I can’t imagine what you are going through, it’s really sad this happened to you! But guess what you are not alone in this, there are many of us going through the same thing, you can live with this virus a very normal life! You are in a country where you get all the best treatment, in Ethiopia there are many I know with the virus and they don’t even get a chance to access any medication. That being said life continues don’t let this detect your life! Go forward! Get the treatment you need from your doctor! I was diagnosed 2019, but guess what I got married after that and am waiting my first baby on the way! Just focus on yourself and your son! If you wanna connect personally I can email you my number! Best of luck!

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Yes I am habesha( Ethiopian). Send me your number and I will call or text you!

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It’s hard having hepatitis b and the sadness you feel. Sounds like you young so have your grievance period and get ready to move forwards.

Words to live by.

The happiness in your life, depends on the quality of your thoughts — Marcus Aurelius.

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Hi Mercy,

I am a senior HBV scientist. I cannot claim to know the pain and isolation you are feeling, but I can say with absolute certainty that you are not alone. HepB Community is a great place to seek help. Another good place is the Hepatitis B Foundation. There are at least 250 million people world wide, of all walks of life, chronically infected with HBV–every one of them who has been diagnosed understands your pain. There are good treatments for HBV delivered by caring physicians and nurses. There is a world-wide army of scientists like Thomas Tu who started Hep B Community fighting every day to develop a cure for HBV to lift the cloud you are under. I’ll be happy to share more information if you want, but the important message now is that you are most definitely not alone. People care. We are here for you.

John.

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A post was merged into an existing topic: Having children and Hepatitis B

Dear @Grithcel13, @Mercy_19, and @Dubale89,

I just wanted to welcome you to this community and it’s great to see that you are connecting and so supportive of one other.

There is not much to add that has not been said. Indeed, as John said, you are not alone here and also it is good for your health that you found out about your Hepatitis B sooner rather than later, so that you can take measures to keep your liver healthy.

I know it can feel safer not to do anything about your Hep B at the moment: I hesitated a long time after I was diagnosed before organising regular visits to a liver specialist. But when I did, I felt so much better - not physically, but more like the mental weight of responsibility to my future self had been lifted. Just knowing that I’m doing all that I can for myself (and the people who depend on me) was liberating.

It may take you some time to get to this stage, and that’s ok. But just know that there are better times in the future and that there are people with you on this journey too.

Thomas

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I appreciate everyone in this community, everyone is so helpful and kind. Thank y’all for creating a platform where we can seek help.

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hi Mercy,
I cam imagine the sadness and loneliness you are feeling… But have hope.
If your boyfriend is not able to accept his own child, because of your hepatitis positive status… he don’t deserved to have you both… have faith and hope…There are millions out there with hepatitis B positive status. With the available medical help and support of this group, it is possible to survive…Take good care of your health and do the follow-up with your doctor. That is the best you can do for yourself as well as for your child. Best wishes…

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