Fear to open up

Living With Hep B Relationships
1

Hey everyone,

I wanted to share a topic that’s been weighing on my mind and hear your thoughts. As someone living with hepatitis B, 29years old, i live in canada. I’ve found it challenging to open up about my status, especially when it comes to dating. The fear of rejection and the uncertainty about how to communicate my health condition often hold me back from pursuing relationships.

I believe that honesty is key in any relationship, but starting that conversation can be really hard.

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Hi @Level,
I do empathize with you, however, there is no simple way of going about this. Yes, the fear of rejection is a real thing, but we cannot be afraid or be held back by it. I believe it is okay to take some chances. Not everyone is going to reject you, and without trying, I am unsure how we find love. While rejection can leave a bitter taste in the lives of some HBV in the dating process, we need to take risks. I believe that we all have someone out there for us who will love, respect, and accept us for who we are. But we need to keep trying.

This conversation can be had when you have gotten to know the person, earned their trust, and established some honesty on both sides. This is not a conversation for a first or second date. You can test the waters by bringing up a health topic and seeing how the person reacts to it.

This can be challenging, but you can share your status whenever you are comfortable doing so. You should not feel pressured to disclose your status. It must be on your terms.

I hope you find this helpful. Best, Bansah1

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Hello Level,

You are not alone – this is something many on this community forum can attest to.

I’m someone living with Hep B and was diagnosed at age 21, who went through the challenges of social drinking, relationship disclosure, starting a family and more.

As a Hep B patient turned storyteller and advocate, I have spoken about this topic based on my lived experience in a couple of videos below:

  1. Living Well, B You: Family Planning When Living with Hep B (English)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTVO5jW3aQ4
    (Also in spoken Chinese Cantonese here:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQK3ug9D-NQ&list=PLo0__ZoVD7bcva1OTjNNeXlqNkuGhnmVp&index=3

  2. Living with Hep B: Episode 8: Wendy L (English)
    https://youtu.be/CAikLfS2HAE?si=_uwPic5CVBJ5fOjc

May this sharing be of benefit to you and fellow community members.

Warmly,
Wendy Lo
PS: For more of Wendy’s Hep B storyteller, click on the link. Wendy YK's Story of Living with Hepatitis B — http://www.hepb.org/

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Hello Level,

I also live in Canada, and share the same experience as you. I got lucky eventually and found someone that’s very understanding. You grow into your relationships. I guess you have to shoot your shot and prepare for all eventualities.

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You’ll find someone who’ll accept you for who you are. I am sure I am not the only lucky person to have found one. It happens the significant other was a HBbAB when we met and the relationship just worked out.

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Thank you so much, i guess i have to summon courage and start meeting people, hopefully i get to meet someone who will understand.

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Thank you for the encouragement!

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Oh great!, i will watch the videos. Thank you!

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Hi @Level ,

We have all been there. It does not get any easier whenever dating someone new. I have been lucky that numerous past relationships before and also meeting my husband, none of them rejected me because they knew it had been out of my control and they accepted me.

You can decide for yourself when it is a best time to disclose this and tell the SO to get vaccinated and educate them.

If the person rejects you for something you have no control over, then move on. Because there will be someone out there who will love you everything you are.

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Hi @Level,
It is unfortunate that we find ourselves in this situation, but it should not stop us from trying. @TomPsu and @littleli128, thanks for sharing your journeys and meeting your partners. It is possible, but it will require some trying and not relenting. We need to prepare ourselves and our minds for some rejection, unfortunately, it happens. None of us deserves this, but the world we live in is something else. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find someone soon who will accept you for being you. Best, Bansah1

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Thank you all for supporting one another, it is so great to hear this. I have gone through the same thing and ended up together with my (HBV-negative) wife of 10 years.

I have found that one of the best ways of gaining the confidence to open up to others is to get educated, so that you can explain the condition (and answer questions) in a way that can alleviate stress.

We have some resources on this (developed with @chari.cohen and the hepatitis B Foundation): Hep B Training Modules.

Hope this helps,
Thomas

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