Hi @hopefulone ,
Thank you for your kindness, but I am no hero. I often have my times of depression, anger, hopelessness, fear and the feeling of being all alone. I am an orphan and have no family, so that makes things a little harder. Although, I know that there are at least a few others in this community that suffer this alone and my heart goes out to them. A good support system or any support system is better than nothing.
Please never, never say that your pain isn’t worth complaining about. Pain is relative. When you break a bone, the pain at that time is usually excruciating. It isn’t until you experience something worse that you can compare. Some people have depression that can manifest itself in physical pain. Many people would think that that pain is not real or measurable or comparative to tangible physical pain (tangible in the sense that you can see a broken bone). You can’t measure the pain that someone feels from depression. Who are we to tell someone that they aren’t suffering or suffering as badly as someone with a broken bone. We could have the exact same type of injury and one of us could feel it as a 7 and the other feel it is a 10. The point is that, your pain and what you suffer is significant if it affects you. Pain is not something we are SUPPOSED to live with. It is usually a sign that something is not right.
I share my experiences when I feel it might help someone or that someone can relate. It is not to complain or be a downer. Usually I try to give people the positive side of things or some type of hope. When I share about my own situation and experiences it is to provide information or let others feel comforted by relating to me. It’s an odd thing to appreciate that other people suffer what you do. When I first found this community (it started as the hep-b list) and read about people suffering the way I did, I broke down and cried… and cried… and it was sad, but it was also magical, in that it comforted me so much to know that I am not alone in this. Even though I will probably never meet any of you in real life, having the ability to connect with you through written word and in virtual meet-ups gives me comfort. Helping other people gives me purpose and reading and hearing all your stories gives me hope. Just writing this paragraph causes my tears to flow. I think I am a decently open person in real life. Yet, I share certain things in this community that I hardly would want to make myself vulnerable to in real life.
As SS090711 mentioned, you can still live a long time with cirrhosis. That man that is living with only 25% of his liver and fighting the good fight is an inspiration. I was told by Kaiser in 2007, that I only had 5 years to live and that was way before I even had cirrhosis. Well, I made it past 2012. Then, when I was diagnosed with cirrhosis in 2017 and they were doing MELD score tests on me for a liver transplant, I was preparing myself for the worst. It’s been 6 years now and I am still kicking. I may not be fighting the good fight but at least I am fighting. Part of that fight is helping in this community in ways that I can.
The Hep-B List was an email driven message board system by the Hep B Foundation that was the best that was available for people with Chronic Hep B to connect and communicate at that time. When Thomas decided to evolve that system and create this community where we have more expanded capability to communicate, I jumped on board as a dedicated member. I was in tune with Thomas’ dream and desire to create a community for people with Hep B that would provide expert information, resources and an intimate community where we could share comradery and solidarity and do this for the entire world. In this manner, anyone who has the capability to get online, can find us. This was a worthy cause for me to be a part of.
Hopefulone, you should really try to get in on the monthly virtual meet-ups. There is one tomorrow (Friday, April 27th) at 2pm PST (5pm EST). Maybe this post will encourage any others to join this meet-up or a future one. If anyone wants to join April’s meetup and didn’t get a chance to vote in the Doodle poll, then please PM (Private Message) @Mylisa . You can click on her @ that I just posted and that should bring you to her profile page. Then on the top right should see the MESSAGE button. Then let her know you would like to join the meet-up and provide her your email address so she can send you the email invite for the Zoom virtual meet-up.
Sorry, I swear I was just starting out this message to respond to you, and then it got more involved and personal and then turned into a promotional… lol Oh… hey… you noted that you are 53, same here! Well, for less than another month.
Hang tight and keep posting when you are up to it, it can be quite cathartic. Plus, you bring good conversation and of course… hope.
-Paul